I notice my negative self-talk when my anxiety is intense and loud. And I think that maybe underneath all of the unkind words are scared versions of myself who somewhere along the way learned that that is how we stay safe. That is how we avoid the big, dark, scary fears about ourselves.
The unkindness is like a disguise the fear likes to wear. Because if we actually see that fear, really look at it under that mask, it’s usually a shivering and scared version of our own selves.
Also, I’m a dog person through and through. I love all animals. And dogs are on the top of my loves. We’ve got a giant Irish Wolfhound who is literal magic. She is so curious about the world and loves when we put words to the things she sees. And she is kind to me, even when my head isn’t always kind.
Being kind to myself is the theme of my life (especially if you ask my therapist), and I am always in awe of how difficult it is to wrap my brain around that simple concept. It requires the difficult unraveling of so many years' worth of messaging.
As for animals. Yes, please. I always called myself a dog person, and I'd love to have another, but right now is not a good time. But, I have my first cat that is all mine--not my kids', not my neighbors', not the family's. She's just mine, and I cannot imagine my life without a moody, furry, three-pack-a-day voiced companion ever again.
This one rings very true for me. I’ve done a lot of beating myself up in the last few years, and only stopped last year because I realized the caregiving we had to do for my late f-i-l simply did not leave enough bandwidth to get writing done, period. Then he passed, and I found myself beating myself up because I wasn’t suddenly producing at top efficiency now that I had the time. I’m still learning that I need to give myself grace to heal.
As far as animals, cats most definitely. Right now we have a grey tabby and a fat orange tabby who are littermates and love hanging out with me in my new office space at home while I work.
Both. But dogs.
I notice my negative self-talk when my anxiety is intense and loud. And I think that maybe underneath all of the unkind words are scared versions of myself who somewhere along the way learned that that is how we stay safe. That is how we avoid the big, dark, scary fears about ourselves.
The unkindness is like a disguise the fear likes to wear. Because if we actually see that fear, really look at it under that mask, it’s usually a shivering and scared version of our own selves.
Also, I’m a dog person through and through. I love all animals. And dogs are on the top of my loves. We’ve got a giant Irish Wolfhound who is literal magic. She is so curious about the world and loves when we put words to the things she sees. And she is kind to me, even when my head isn’t always kind.
All the furry animals, please. M
The past few weeks I’ve been working on self compassion and it is a praccttiiccee.
I’m an equal opportunity head scratcher.
Being kind to myself is the theme of my life (especially if you ask my therapist), and I am always in awe of how difficult it is to wrap my brain around that simple concept. It requires the difficult unraveling of so many years' worth of messaging.
As for animals. Yes, please. I always called myself a dog person, and I'd love to have another, but right now is not a good time. But, I have my first cat that is all mine--not my kids', not my neighbors', not the family's. She's just mine, and I cannot imagine my life without a moody, furry, three-pack-a-day voiced companion ever again.
All of the above
Both. Currently, we have a black cat named Cookie who loves carbs.
This one rings very true for me. I’ve done a lot of beating myself up in the last few years, and only stopped last year because I realized the caregiving we had to do for my late f-i-l simply did not leave enough bandwidth to get writing done, period. Then he passed, and I found myself beating myself up because I wasn’t suddenly producing at top efficiency now that I had the time. I’m still learning that I need to give myself grace to heal.
As far as animals, cats most definitely. Right now we have a grey tabby and a fat orange tabby who are littermates and love hanging out with me in my new office space at home while I work.
It is amazing to me that we as people can be so hard on ourselves. You said it perfectly that we need to give ourselves grace.