It's all about balance

Bet you've never heard that before

Hey, Runners!

It’s Strengths Week here on rotWIPs as we warm up for our Run, and here’s the thing about strengths that are so difficult: We are purposefully trained not to see them. I mean, how many times have other people told you to believe in yourself, and then when you say, “Wow, I’m kind of awesome,” they say, “Hey now, don’t get too big for your britches.”

I once said, out loud, on a podcast, that I thought I was extraordinary, and to this day, whenever I think about it, I cringe so hard I can’t stand it. That voice is in me; who the hell do you think you are?

But here’s the thing: I am extraordinary. I do honestly think that. I am extraordinary in my willingness to take risks that don’t always pay off. I’m extraordinary in that I have one singular passion—the creation, study, and proselytizing of story—that keeps me going even when I don’t get paid for any of it. I’m extraordinary in that I believe in myself to the point where I have quit actual good paying jobs with benefits in order to do this work.

I don’t think being extraordinary makes me better than anyone else; the thing about extraordinary that feels aligned for me is that it has a sense of strangeness, weirdness, of always feeling just a little out of step from everyone else, always feeling like there’s something I’m supposed to be doing and I don’t know what it is.

So there. I’ve been cringing about saying it for years, and now here I am, saying it again.

Now, it’s your turn. It might feel a little uncomfortable, and that’s okay. Most things that are good for you don’t necessarily feel great when you do them.

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Turns out, you are just the right size for your britches.

Has anyone ever criticized you for being too full of yourself just because you stated out loud something you’re good at, or something you like about yourself? Chances are they have. If you’re a woman, it’s almost a damn guarantee.

And hey… there’s something to that. We’ve all been around people who have maybe gotten a little high off their own farts, and the vicarious cringe is pretty powerful. (See above, re: extraordinary.) We don’t want to be that person. We want to be humble and always acutely aware of our weaknesses and failures.

I’m not arguing against that, either. It is important to have an accurate view of yourself. The problem is, when you only view yourself in terms of your failures and weaknesses… baby, that’s not accurate.

What I’m trying to do here is not create an army of raging narcissists, but rather, a coalition of people with enough faith in themselves—and knowledge of their own strengths—to get their creative work done.

Today’s Comments Assignment:

Ask 3-5 people who know you well what your strengths are. Not necessarily as a writer; just general strengths. If you feel comfortable, please share them here.

Look, I’ve met a lot of people in my life, and almost all of them have been humble to a fault. I do not see a dearth of humility being a real challenge for most people, especially writers, as writer culture can be particularly harsh to its members. What I see, especially in writers, is an inflated sense of weaknesses, and an all but invisible sense of strengths.

All I’m saying is… in order to get them in balance, you need to focus in on the side of this equation that you’ve neglected.

And next time we meet, I’ll tell you how to use both sides of this psychological yin-yang to make your writing both easier and more enjoyable.